Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A Word From GolfWidow


A Guest Post.

If Letterman can do it, I guess I can, too. The big difference is, my fill in host is much funnier than his are...and, no, I had no idea what she was going to write.

So, on Mardi Gras, I give you.... GOLF WIDOW!

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'Quin'


By GolfWidow

When I first began reading the blog of the woman you know as Quin, I saw a funny woman with a way with words.

Quin and I are going to take my winnings from the Publisher's Clearing House and we're opening a linen shop.

Quin is going to become Mistress Quin. She is going to have killer hawt boots and a bullwhip, and she is going to flog the weavers when the thread count falls below 1,500.

Don't worry. The weavers are the sort that like to be punished by Mistress Quin.

But they will comply with her Linen Guidelines for the most part, because she also smokes.

You can whip them, beat them, take away their Wiis; but they are sufficiently prideful of their end product that they don't want it sullied with cigarette smoke before it comes off the looms.

If you don't want Mistress Quin stomping into the workshop with a cigarette dangling from her lip, you'd best snap to it, pal.

As for me, I will be in charge of teaching a linen-selection seminar, for women who are not sure what best fits their needs and lifestyles, and for men who are not sure why a king-sized sheet will never, ever, EVER, fit a full-sized bed.

No, not even after you wash it.

And no, the bed's not going to grow into it.




Our Neville Fact:

At night, Neville and Margaret sometimes playact Monty Python in bed. Neville's favorite game is the argument sketch, the one where, in the live version, Carol Cleveland says to Eric Idle, "Would you like a blowjob?"

Margaret's favorite game is the Spanish Inquisition, especially when she gets to be the cardinal. She feels the red costume is quite becoming, and she enjoys sentencing Neville to The Comfy Chair.

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I loves me my GolfWidow.

4 comments:

Bud said...

typically wonderful from GW. I got me one too.

constant drama said...

"Quin is going to become Mistress Quin. She is going to have killer hawt boots and a bullwhip, and she is going to flog the weavers when the thread count falls below 1,500."

AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! For some reason the mental image kills me! Sorry Quin but its true.

And hey Golf Widow just gets a new fan.

Quin said...

you know, cd, you can be removed.


*buffing nails*


yes, gw is da bomb. (did i say that properly??)

Peter Varvel said...

I always say, "Thanks, dude. You're the bong."

Are you hiring? Where can I submit my resume? I am particularly interested in working in the stock room, for the obvious benefits of privacy . . .

Awhoresezwhat?