a place for everything...and everything in its place.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Five years ago today, I had surgery to remove the (to quote my surgeon), "biggest motherfuckin' tumor I've ever seen on a thyroid".
Five years ago, with that operation, I went from a person with cancer to a person in remission. Five is the magic number everyone with cancer looks toward--it says you've beat odds, it says you can breathe again, it says you've come out the other side, and the world is even brighter.
Five years is more than I thought I'd have....I was so scared. But, I don't usually do what I'm told to do, so, I gave cancer the same treatment--refusal to submit. It changed my life. I moved to New York, found friends and adventure, and I may be broke, but, I don't regret anything.
Thank you all for being with me during these five years, and, thanks to Matt Neves who held my hand, and Joshua Stavros--who joined Matt in prayer over me. I felt that power, and held on to it's goodness.
"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman." (Anais Nin)
May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and everyone of us.
"Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous, than absolutely boring."
Fear need not be a tool of realism. I think I'm going to work with it.
"...a season of love. it is only found in someone else's heart. right now, some one you know is looking for it, and it's in you."
"to accomplish great things, we must not only act, but, also dream; not only plan, but, also believe." ~anatole frace
"at night, when the objective world has slunk back into its cavern and left dreamers to their own, there come inspirations and capabilities impossible at any less magical and quiet hour. no one knows whether or not he is a writer unless he has tried writing at night." ~h.p. lovecraft
these? these are important...
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