Sunday, August 9, 2009

how does it feel?

i look at her, and wonder how what it's like.

i think, perhaps, this is what i fear most of being, of having a beloved... the possibility of loss. the family friend i am caring for right now lost her husband of 55 years in february, and daily i watch her fail.. looking into some place only she can see, waiting to see his face again. i read maggie's blog and see the same thing happened with her loved ones.

and, i wonder...what is it like?

to be so in tune with someone, you are bereft without their presence.. that you feel their empty space in your life so much, it's painful to think about.

i can't imagine.

i wish i could.

3 comments:

austere said...

You change.

coastrat said...

Being without your beloved on a daily basis, after having been with them on a daily basis for almost 40 years, is (has been for the past 2 1/2 years), a hard and lonely thing. My privilege and blessing is that I again can go back to being with my beloved, and that will be in just 4 weeks now.

Maggie, Dammit said...

I can't imagine either, and I won't. What good is living if we're focused on the end? xoxo