Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Dad

Dear Dad,

You'd have been 83 today.  Imagine that, 83!!  I still miss you every day--I don't have the guilt I bore for so long, wondering if I'd done enough, if I'd been a good daughter....since living with Miss Ruby, I felt I had done all I could do at the time for you...I regret we didn't have the chance to live together again as we planned, when the kids had moved out.  Only a few more months, and we'd have had that happen.  You've missed a lot... graduations and HRH's wedding (she wanted you to walk her down the aisle)... Miss H and her kind ways, Zori's birth (you'd be amused by her)

 and Jarhead leaving the service with his stripes and now working hard, making a name for himself in the film industry, his work ethical and honest.  TheInvestment growing up, becoming a man, still as witty as his Papaw...and, I believe one day he will be as noble.  Zenmaster getting engaged, his wedding on the way.  Adds and 'Kenna remain in California... we are again in touch with each other.  You wanted to know them better--I wish you had.  Mother and I are finally friends...and that gives me great joy. 

We all miss you, more than I can say.

I envy HRH....she dreams of you, finding peace there.  I seldom have you visit me, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I feel you at peace, though.  Your personal things are divided... I did keep the bulk of them, however, I feel no wrong in that.   Your ring is on my chain around my neck, it keeps you close.

I gave your theater books to Oddship.  He also has your St. Joseph's bean... and he treasures those things.  You'd like him, I think.  

Then, there is this little one. Like you, he enjoys eating.  For now, unlike you, he's not too discriminating on what he eats.

He'd have stolen your heart--and you'd have loved him.

Odd for me to say that--I feel you love him from where you are now.  You still watch over us, love us, guide us.

Happy Birthday, Dad.  Wish you were here.

9 comments:

Richard said...

if words truly have power, then yours will have had the power to be heard

Oddly, I took the Whale he gave me down last night, turning it over in my hands and remembering his kindness - and mocking words about Rhode Island.

Thank you for sharing your words.

I cried.

harrietv said...

I know it's rough -- it's more than thirty years since we lost my dad. He's still with me every day, and there are always things I want to tell him...and that I want to ask.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

This is beautiful Quin. I'm pissed with my dad now....but this kinda put things into perspective though.

Still pissed however.

An um, regards to your hot son. You know which one. Ahem.

austere said...

Salaams.

Dee Martin said...

hugs - been there.

vinny said...

Touches me to do a tad more while I still can.

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missalister said...

This is so nice, so very cool, Q.

You see I'm behind as usual, but that kind of write-up is good for always, ever and whenever.

And that sock sure do look good. Mmmm, MM!

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