Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Dahling...Do, Let's Decorate

I use phrases quite a bit in my life.

It depends on where I am, but, they are standard to the place I am, the person I am with, and the thing I am describing.

During my time at the WeatherGuy's, I say, "My gosh!" a lot. When viewing the lights, going to the C word, eating dinner... I say, "My gosh!" Dealing with life, I say "FMD!" (not the letters, the actual phrase) in a variety of tones.

While viewing the paltry number of lights here in the U of K with Loobell last evening, we used the phrase, "Um, yes, they are, um, very..."

Very was the 'key' word.

Very scarce, very odd, just very. Very sums it up in one, you know where you are in one.

There was one place, a semi-detached (translated to American, a duplex) that has set out to out do each other in pure bad taste. There is no rhyme nor reason to their decorating design. It looks like they got pissed, went to Tesco's, bought a bunch of shi..stuff and threw it up. Then, they threw up afterwards from the bright light patterns on the house.

The up side is, they can't complain to the council about the other because they are both in violation of the Poor Taste Act passed in 1434 when the codpiece was invented.

Folk here in the U of K haven't really sunk down to the level of decoration we have in the US. There are the occasional home where you find it over top in lights and design, but, they are the exception not the norm. Where you find oddles and oddles of lights are in the council houses, better known as the areas where people are on government assistance.

The other new fad over here is to stick your holiday tree out of the side of your house at a 45 degree angle and decorate it.

I don't know why, but, it's done.

It seems it would be hard to put your presents there, but, that's what glue guns are for, I reckon.

In the end, there is no real comparison.... we did see the local factory that has something that is supposed to be Santa's feet going down a chimney. It actually looks like a slice of toast popping out of a toaster. It's around three stories tall and you see it from the large roundabout before you get on the M5. I understand last year's contribution was the sleigh and reindeer, however, the bulbs burned out on part of it, so, it looked more like a penis.

Somehow, I don't think the burned bulbs were an accident.

11 comments:

golfwidow said...

I love England this time of year.

I've only been once, but this was the time of year I was there, so it counts.

Bud said...

Years ago we had our Brit friends for the holidays and took them on the lights tour. They just guffawed loudly. But I never heard of the 45 degree tree. Or I would have brought that up in defense saying that we didn't exactly corner the market on bad taste.

constant_drama said...

I have never been to England...or Europe for that matter. I do however been to Turkey which was partially Europe.

How is there this time of year? Lovely? Icy cold? Tell tell!

Quin said...

cd~cold. damp. full of food.

bud~ the decorations are full of bad taste... thank goodness

gw~shall i bring you cadburys?

MrHarlequin said...

Look on yourself as a missionary, bringing Xmas cheer and kneeling Santas to the poor benighted natives of this dark and chilly Island.

And, as you choke at the memory of Santa (and I will leave it to YOU to explain to your audience), remember, we may be backward primatives, but at least we didn't create THAT.

Off to enjoy hotel facilities again. Maybe this time I'll get a robe or omelette?

Quin said...

granted, the u of k does not have the horrific kneeling santa worshiping at the shrine of the baby polly pocke..jesus.

only america could have created that bit.

enjoy the robe, and insist on an omelette.

i always do.

Peter Varvel said...

"What are you like?" is one of the many phrases that I miss hearing amongst my English friends (or "you lot," as they say).

A Christmas tree at a 45 degree angle also seems "more like a penis"--an erect one.

golfwidow said...

Oh, my gourd, I love me some Cadbury's, but I can't have a lot without taking an antihistamine first. So you can bring them, but be prepared for my possibly dozing off shortly after eating them.

And thank you for the thought, because, mmm, Cadbury's.

Valley Girl said...

People stick their tree outside of their house?

Quin said...

gw~done

val~they have one inside, too..these are attached to the outside of the older houses... go figure.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"The other new fad over here is to stick your holiday tree out of the side of your house at a 45 degree angle and decorate it."

This is the same country that had almost two-thirds of the world underfoot? Then again, this shows why their comedy is consistently better than ours.