I quit writing.
I'm not sure when or why, I simply quit the process of putting down my thoughts and ideas and the world that lives in my head... it all ground to a halt. I find pieces of paper with a word here or a phrase there, and I've no idea what I was going for or what I meant to say or why I even wrote that word or phrase. I'm not deep in the dumps or upset, I am simply caught up in a place of white noise and no inspiration, is all I can think.
I love Six Sentences.... I can't even compose six words.
There is the continuing feeling I am on the cusp of something... that I am waiting to tip over the edge of a big change in my life, and I have to save all my words for that to happen.
Or, I'm simply out of words to say. (I can hear everyone who knows me laughing there).
I go for a day at a time, not speaking.... listening to whatever it is God is telling me, wondering if he can get past the clutter that is in my head... all the babble and confetti and scraps of ideas and thoughts and left over mish mash that constitutes my interior world.
Or, is all of that his answers to my questions?
Sunday, August 17, 2008
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What does it feel like to have so much that you want to say, yet you can't have them as coherent thoughts, and can't find any meaningful way to express them?
I'm not sure if that's what you meant on the post. But that's what I got out of it.. and how I am, most of the time.
You seem to be saying stuff just fine. :)
Just write. "No" to that internal editor.
You're busy right now; it happens. When all the busyness is done, you'll start to write again.
Take it from someone who has lo-o-ong periods of silence, followed by periods of "why can't I type faster?"
I often jot down things throughout the day, but by nighttime those moments have passed and I'm just left with words on paper. When I can capture what I meant...that is what matters, the other times are just filler.
It sounds like your new surroundings lack the same amount of stimuli that the NYC gave you.
Take a crack at some flash fiction or simply go to one spot, pick someone or something out and try to write a short bio.
This was writing, you know. Writing about not writing is still writing!
And thank you for the good wishes! <3 Its been a rollercoaster, that's for sure.
I'm not worried.
We all need our own Quiet, at times. We all need times of 'deepening' as L'Engle wrote in 'A Wind in the Door.'
There is nothing wrong with a little white noise now and again. . . . try and enjoy it.
I just returned to writing (and blogging) after a hiatus. It's good to shut down the shop for a while and see what else is out there.
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