Life After 40

On a blog I read, an unsent email was posted that caught my eye.

The writer is 24, and she spoke of having women reaching their sexual prime at 40...

I have to comment on letter, on women coming into their 'prime' at 40. Is it a sexual prime, or, is it more an acceptance of who we are as women, a feeling of comfort in our own skin, making it living life in it's prime? A realisation we don't really care who likes or doesn't like us anymore... a sense of not being bovvered (thanks Catherine Tate!) by very much, therefore, we aren't hampered by worries of comparisons anymore, so, we smile, and jump happily into the world, including a sexual world, thrilled with all that it entails?

As a mature woman, I find myself more involved with the things I find interesting, I don't concern myself with people that drain me, I devote myself to those I love, to things that are important to me, I understand time is not my friend...I'm not focused on the party scene, I want to have a place of comfort for the man I would be involved with, and focus on those needs... flirting is a waste of time and an insult to the person I am with... I know what I want, what I need. I also know I am okay on my own, so, anyone in my life is there because I choose to have a relationship, not because I feel something is missing otherwise.

When a woman does get involved, I think we are more focused in many ways...not as raw in our emotions. There is more depth in a sense. We project a very real sense of comfort, security, acceptance.. of both self and the person we are with... there isn't that game playing, of trying to compete with everyone around, we are past all of that. Set, settled, secure. We are women, not girls, not trying to figure out life.. we've done it, and we are delighted to share what we know. There is a sense of ease, of comfort, of texture, of richness in all we have to offer... women over 40 have learned to enjoy life, including sex, to embrace it, to welcome what it has to offer. We are fearless.

Granted, there are some who reach this place earlier, and some who never do... I am speaking from a personal place, from my own perspective, from those women in my life who are, indeed, fearless, content, good with being 40 and very sensual in that space. Ask the men in their lives if you don't believe me... we may have Advil next to our beds, but, that doesn't stop us from enjoying ourselves in those beds.

It's odd... I find myself being told I look better now than I did ten years ago. I believe it's the acceptance of who I am, and being quite content with that person.

I wouldn't be in my 20's or 30's again for anything.... I wasn't very good at life back then...but, enjoy it, those of you who are. And to those of my generation?

Rock on, ladies, rock on.