Friday, November 9, 2007

Hats in the Belfrey


Hats.

I was always one to scorn hats... turning up my nose that has a very straight bridge, and isn't meant to be turned up. To do so actually means I have to look down it's length, a skill I've perfected over the years, allowing me to give the Icy Glare. This look has served me well in life, causing cars to stop in their tread, children to stop whatever wrong they are doing, and tourists to swipe and go when they hit the station, without questioning why or where they are going.

I did not like hats. Not big hats, small hats, baseball hats (which had their own special place in my book of hat hell), large brim, snappy brim, red, blue, black, feathered, sequined, knitted (even by me) or with cute pom poms on it... they were horrible.

Sure, maybe I hated hats because I can't wear one. Perhaps it was a deep seated envy that caused me to watch Fergie's wedding, and sob quietly in a corner of my sofa, huddled there not over the pomp and circumstance (and the hideousness of that dress, not to mention her bad hair and the Queen.. who dresses that woman? What is in that purse? A digital camera? A novel by Barbara Cartland?) but, overcome by the plethora of hats, the dignified wave that happened when everyone stood and their heads tipped and bowed with all that haberdashery on display.

My sister/friend, Loo, wears a hat. She does a great job of it, having that certain panache, that ability to match the colour to her outfit, never feeling self conscious about the fact she has a huge amount of stuff on her head that isn't hair.

Of course, she's English, so, that helps.

I even refused to wear those baseball caps when I had a Jeep.

Why? Because I looked stupid, that's why. My face isn't shaped to wear a hat, my head is kind of, well, different, and one ear doesn't lay at close to my head as the other. As a child, my mother taped it to my head.

It didn't work.

I have high cheekbones, and, well, all in all, I look silly. No, I do. Ask my friends. I would put on a baseball cap, and they'd laugh and laugh. Yeah.

The other reason? Oh, it's even simpler....

Hat hair.

That was the other reason. Hat hair. Who wants it? I have enough hair issues to not want hat hair, and once you've got hat hair, you are stuck with the hat on your head.

When I moved to New York City, life changed.

I discovered the beauty of the hat. I embraced the hat. I rolled in my collection of hats, I counted them, made sure I had one in each colour group, and I wore them proudly.

Why?

Because it rains. It sleets. It snows. It is windy, sunny, clear. Because you walk out the door and get stuff, well, right out the door. So, who wants to get in the shower, wash your hair, put in product and then wait for it to dry/blow dry it?

You put on a hat!

The amazing, wonderful, darling, cute-as-a-button hat!

Berets, paperboy, baseball (yes, it's a cap, but, don't split, well, hairs), race car... all kinds! Knit, cashmere, felt... they slip on and slip off, allowing you to look good when you go outside to either pick up coffee or attend a film. You insist you look good, and as long as you don't pass reflective surfaces.. you can retain that delusion.

I do.

I even went to lunch with The Weather Guy... and I wore a baseball cap.

Yes, me.

I'm thrilled to death with the invention of the hat. I may even start wearing some of my vintage ones, when I go to a place where I can wear a pair from my collection of vintage gloves.


What? You don't wear a hat? FMD Get with the fashion...





P.S. My editor in chief was interviewed today... it's a nice read. Hurrah, Emily!

70 comments:

MrHarlequin said...

Comments:

The Queen carries little in her handbag. No camera, no Barbara Cartland and, famously, no money.

All she carries in there is a small supply of death warrants, some of which are pre-filled with the names of her children's current partners, plus a couple of spares, just in case.

Hat hair? Pah! You should try HELMET hair. You get up, wash your hair, ride around the corner to get a pint of milk and your hair looks like a pack of epileptic cats has had a fight in a birds nest.

As men get older, we want to wear hats more. I remember my uncles wearing hats. I remember my great uncles wearing even sillier hats. Why is it that as men age, we're more attracted to doing things that we should really be avoiding. Things like motorcycles, sportscars and young girls?

Nature recognises this is wrong.

Nature fights it by making us go bald but noooo, men persist.

Oh, and the other thing in the Queen's handbag?

A thank you note to the designer of Fergie's wedding dress, which she never got round the sending...

Quin said...

*snort*

golfwidow said...

I love hats and wish I had more opportunities to wear them.

No matter how fat I am, hats fit.

Harriet V said...

Golfwidow looks absolutely gorgeous in just about any hat she tries on -- even my father's! Me, on the other hand... I found the following, written in January of 2004:

I hate “hat hair.” As you may remember, I don’t have enough hair to keep me warm, so I haven’t got a lot of choice. I was up early today to drive M.D. to work. (It was so gray that I was a most tentative driver; I hope I didn’t freak her out.) When I got home, my hair was the worst it has been this century. Maybe, having been up and out two days in a row, I can drag myself to the barber tomorrow. It wouldn’t be quite so bad if it wasn’t so long…did I mention how I hate hat hair?

Quin said...

b
i
n
g
o

Bud said...

Some people, like my wife, do look adorable in any hat you can imagine. My son-in-law has a side business of embroidering hats and t-shirts and so he gave me a Bud Buckley.com Baseball hat in every color. I tend to wear them to the gym in the morning when I don't have time to shower and arrange the rat's next that lives on my head. I'll wear them in the sun but I tend to stay out of it as much as possible. So glad you made peace with hats and embraced their usefulness.

Quin said...

bud, i await my bubu shirt, which i will wear with one of my many hats... yes, i will wear it with pride.

Peter Varvel said...

I love the word 'haberdashery!'
I am one of the biggest male hat whores, as much as I am a shoe whore.
It's a mercy that I have both limited funds and closet space--as it is, I'll still buy a new hat, now and then, and add it the collection of chapeaus I can't get myself to get rid of, even though I almost never wear any of them.

golfwidow said...

I have a pink BuBu hat! I wear it to outside events where my Gryffindor team hat won't do.

Titsalina Bumsquash (Hat lover) said...

As most body heat is lost through our heads.. Hats rock in winter. They keep the sun from our delicate ladylike skin in the summer! Yes Hats rock ANYTIME...
lol@ Peter the Hat whore!
GW seems to win the hat wearing Prize here though!
WTF @ Harlequin..Is this your blog or do you have somewhere else you post your verbose drivel? the helmet hair point is lost on the rubbish about the Queen's handbag.. or did I miss something?

Quin said...

peter~what size shoe do you wear?

gw~braggart

titsalina~i can't get beyond the name. sorry. (still giggling)

Loobell said...

Thank you my friend... I am glad my hat wearing ways have not gone unnoticed... I have everything from the humble baseball cap for dealing with 'helmet head' to the leather dog walking hat to formal knock your socks off wedding variety. One needs to be properly dressed after all. LLB XX XX

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Winning the Game

The moment you figured out you won, you must immediately yell BINGO, and it should be loud enough for the floor walker to hear. The pot money shall be given to the winner once their winning card is confirmed. Well, in winning or once you know you just won, the most important thing is that you shout the winning word BEFORE the time elapses. If the game proceeds and the next number is mentioned and you failed to shout "Bingo", your winning card is disqualified. Therefore, this is the rule you must know.

There may be cases when there are two winners, and in this case the pot money shall be divided equally among the winners. Supposing there are two winning cards, the two winners will share half the prize money.

Bingo Game Rules

Bingo rules are basically the same no matter in which Online Bingo hall you play. But still it's good if you know these rules by heart. If it is your first try, then ask for handouts and inquire from pros regarding the game rules. Nonetheless, the ideal thing to do if you have questions is to ask the floor walker and not the person seated beside you. You should clarify things and doubts before the game starts because asking too many questions as the game proceeds could well distract you. This guideline also applies to those who are newcomers at casinos, those who play roulette for the first time.

Bingo halls demand an age limit of 18 years old. If you are below this age, you are prohibited to play. Some bingo houses ban alcohol inside, so players aren't supposed to take liquor nor drink it inside the venue. Smoking may also be restricted inside the venue, as there are designated smoking sections.

Take note that some Bingo houses don't allow food but some do, so it basically depends on the venue. Policies vary among different venues. For instance, some bingo halls allow reservation of cards, while others don't allow it. Some allow people to leave the venue in the middle of the game, others forbid it. But there are general policies observed in all bingo houses, such as disqualification of tampered bingo cards. There is no way you can get away with a tampered card because the walkers are adept at identifying authentic cards from tampered ones. You could be banned from a bingo establishment if proven liable of tampering a card. Hence, you should play honestly.

Interestingly, some venues offer special bingo games for kids although some halls don't allow players to have companions while playing. Suppose you bring kids with you, don't let them run around the venue and bother other gamers. They should behave well whilst you play and the game proceeds. Play quietly and don't recite the numbers you desperately want to come off because you'll be much of a disturbance if you do. Decorous playing is expectant of all players, even those who play roulette at casinos. Also, having a valid identification is important because you don't know you might win and need to present credentials.

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