Sunday, August 12, 2007


How do you know when you've hurt someone?

When you've relationships built on the delicacy of butterfly breath, of walking softly, of text that I despise, when getting a response is almost impossible, in dealing with a friendship that is important, how do you know?

How do you know when things are okay again? If the forgiveness is real, if that person has moved on and the breach is healed? With no voice to communicate, how do you know?

It's difficult enough when you say something or do something inadvertent to a friend or loved one and you are there... you can assess the damage, realise the immediacy of the depth to which you've put your foot into your mouth, make amends, using facial responses, tone of voice, body language to guide you in this all important task.

How do you do this when you communicate by text, by email? We all know you send an email with one voice in your head, and the reader absorbs the words with their version. It's one of the great things in the Harry Potter series, the screaming letters. You knew where you stood there.

I'm at a loss here. Something that should not have been put forth was, and I'm not able to do anything about it..and, no, the dog didn't send it this time.

I can only wait and see, I suppose. It's all you can ever really do, isn't it?


Andrea St. Clair said...

Talk to me...what happened??

Quin said...

asc~you survived knee surgery!!! woot!

Anonymous said...

have you ever tried apologising? holy moly you're the most self absorbed person in the universe.

LisaBinDaCity said...

You can always call and ask. Or email. If you're truly concerned than you should absolutely try and make it right.

Quin said...

anon~you opinions would count if you signed your name. :)

lisa~i am doing my best, it's just so irritating to work in text sometimes.

Kelli said...

First of all, give yourself a break. Whenever a person speaks their voice is heard. Be it vocally, on paper, on electronically. It works like buying a card for someone and the card was mass produced, it can still speak to an idividual and your personal relationship.
I don't know you, we may share a memory. But not a life. But you still can "feel" a person and know if things said are true to nature or said in a moment that later are rethought to be innappropriate. People who matter will take the time to tell the difference. What matters is a bushel and a peck.

The Cajun Boy said...

i'm kind of in the same boat right now and it sucks the worse kind of suckage. nothing you can really do except apologize and wait it out like a bad haircut.

golfwidow said...

Shame on you being self-absorbed IN YOUR OWN BLOG, where we can close the browser window and move on with our lives if we think you're too self-absorbed.

Mind you, I can't think of another, more appropriate place for you to BE self-absorbed, so I personally don't have a problem with it.

Anonymous said...

that from a woman whose husband would rather be out playing gold than spending time with her. enuff said.

Quin said...

kelli~yep. btw, i said it to her.

cb~drinks. remember, two hour time difference, so, let me know when we are lifting our glasses.

gw~i know, i'm just so MEMEMEME

anon~gc, if you don't start signing your name, i'm so telling the rest of the family you're stirring the shit pot again.