The Popular Ones

I've come to realise, I'll never be one of the cool kids.

Of course, I never was one, so, to expect to suddenly blossom into one now is rather silly... still, we inept folk sometimes secretly harbour a wonder at what would it be like to wake up and being part of the in crowd, the sleek, the chic, the sought after.

It never happens.

We are the tech people, the fringes of any gathering, the silent ones who offer an occasional observation.... those who look in, but never quite understand the makings of what creates a popular person.

We can be beautiful, smart, talented, wealthy.... it's that unknown something that just isn't there.

Those who have the aforementioned adjectives attached to their person are often swept up into the parties, the clubs, the circles...however, you can still spot us. We look inept. We are awkward with a drink in our hand, uncomfortable in evening clothing, our eyes dart to the door, wondering how long before we can make our escape. We do not sparkle or sizzle and our minds aren't always on what is happening at the event we are attending.

While there is a certain envy of people who can do those things, while we live in a vicarious way by reading and listening and feeling great joy in the outings of friends who are the cool ones, and a slight puzzlement over how they manage it all...I would be exhausted, and never able to keep up with the texts and the people and the places. I am impressed, to be dead honest...yet, the 'me' kinds of people really are content in our own niche. I issue a sign of relief when I no longer have to worry about saying the wrong thing or dropping something or wondering if I'm in the wrong shoes or dress or place. Knowing I don't fit in.

As much as I enjoy the few hours I spend away from my flat in the projects, I'm as happy to be home, sticking to my pleather sofa, reading away or writing something that will never be seen.

No, I am not one of the popular ones. Most of my friends, however, are. They know that they are, and I'm not...

We're all good with that.