Sunday, October 21, 2007

It Started with 'N'

The 'R' key on my laptop flew off.

I was typing away, and suddenly... it took flight, seeking freedom from the rest of the keys, no longer content to sit between the 'E' and the 'T', and in wanting something better, it soared upward, outward and with the pull of gravity, downward, riding my curses to the floor.

I spent the next thirty minutes seeking my bottle of super glue, then looking for a pair of scissors. The glue was next to the bed, in case I ever have to repair the hole in the Titanic again (in my world, that made sense) and the scissors in the cutlery drawer... again, it makes sense.

Clipping the top, I carefully applied a drop, using tweezers (found in the bone china cup in the bathroom where they sit with my mascara and eye liner) to c a r e f u l l y place the 'R' back in place.

I read for a bit, then blissfully went back to typing. The first time I tapped that key with gusto, it slid over to cower against the 'E'.

Superglue may keep a man suspended in mid-air while his helmet is glued to a girder, however, it will not keep an "I want a new career" 'R' key in place.

It had been a long weekend so far, and I didn't feel like discussing the issue. I placed the 'R' key in the freezer to think about it's transgressions after which I took a melatonin and went to bed.

This morning, after a few phone calls, I again attempted to re-glue the key. It stood firm in its decision to not go back to the old life.

I had no choice... it had to be replaced.

To be honest, I was a little irritated. Although this wasn't a hugely expensive notebook/laptop, it wasn't cheap. The battery has had to be replaced, and a few other things have niggled here and there. The 'N' is gone. It is a blank key. How often do you use 'N'? I can see 'I' disappearing, or possibly some other vowel.... even 'Y'. We don't even know what 'Y' is, do we? Vowel or not, it's split top shows it' has issues with it's own divided personality. My 'N' is gone, making me wonder if it was cheap ink, or a bad 'N' day at the factory, or if I should start counting 'N's in my writing.

I will not go back and count 'N's, I will not go back and count 'N's... I will NOT go back...

Yes, so, I called Dell. After I tried to fix the issue by 'talking' to someone online. I tried to register.

"We do not show that email in our records."

I tried every email I have. All 47 of them.


I called. I waited on hold. For 47 minutes. Finally, finally a Dell rep answered. I was more than a little irritated. The bad 'R', the replaced battery, the non-existent 'N', the nasty on hold music, the refusal to know any of my email addresses.

Billie was nice enough... she gave me her badge number right away, and listened when I tersely explained my problem.

"I can help you with that. May I have your model number, please?"

I gave it to her.

"Um, can you repeat that, please?"

I did.

"M'am. That's not something I have in records. When did you purchase this product?"

"Last December. It's still under warranty! This is so irritatin...", I looked down, and saw the Gateway logo.

I hung up.

Gateway was really nice, and they are sending me a new keyboard to replace this one. Until then, I'm learning to type on the peg that sticks up, and the 'R' key is on a new journey to the dump.

Thankfully, I didn't give my phone number to Billie. Or my full name. Or any of my email addresses.

I have to log off now, the 'N's are calling my name. Which has an 'N' in it.... that would be the first 'N'...


Peter Varvel said...

Ha ha!
Poor Billie. That was somethi-g I would do, ow- a Gateway product, a-d the- call Dell, already a--oyed.

This post made me wo-der what it would look like with all of the -'s missi-g

Quin said...

oh, that did make me laugh.

and count the 9 n's.

golfwidow said...

The "N" is the first key where the print wears off of it on every keyboard I've ever had long enough for that to be an issue. I've never questioned it. I just assumed that my right index finger is the one I mash down hardest and that position is the one that takes the brunt of it. Probably because it's the one that gets the ubiquitious "Do you want to continue? Y/N" treatment a lot.

MrHarlequin said...

Oh, I would SO have loved to be a fly on the wall as you hung up on Dell.


Deborah said...

Its 6:30 am and this one made me laugh too hard. How do you do that QuinAnn?


Amber said...

This had me cracking up laughing.

Count your blessings you don't have to deal with Dell and you went through Gateway.

I made the mistake of getting a Dell notebook and, courtesy of my three year old cousin, I have no caps lock button or a [ button. I have to push the little white rubber thing to get it to type in. I should still have warranty on mine, but after transferring me between the 2 departments 15 different times, I got hung up on (after they had given me the direct number to the department I'm supposed be getting helped by). I called it back only to reach the recording that said, "we're sorry, but this office is closed. Please call back at such and such."

THIRTY MINUTES on the phone. Oh, I was sooooo pissed off. I'm quite sure that they are playing me so I can't get through until AFTER my warranty has already expired. I have nothing but some expletives and not nice things to say about them.


Congrats on the new computer! :) (And figuring out the right company, lol)

Corey's Mom said...

I looked down, and saw the
Gateway logo.

I hung up.

I've done that.

Actress Andrea said...

Ooh, you can be in my "special club!" I haven't had my "T" key for ages... Now get this, I had my computer guy out yesterday to clean up my laptop and hoping he could fix my "T" and it completely disappeared!! Now I'm stuck with an empty hole for a "T."

Oh good lord. It's so irritating! My thoughts are with you!