The lack of essential cells in my body is causing huge problems.
One is my short bursts of energy that dissipate, leaving me sleeping for hours in that odd place where you don't really sleep but dwell on issues and throw in some butterflies and it all makes sense.
One thing I didn't do, couldn't do, was sent out handwritten cards to those people who have been part of my life, who make huge differences... those who have made me laugh and think and weep for one reason or another.
Please indulge me, as, along with those personal emails (so, SO, tacky I'd say normally... but, I have no choice this year), I want to do a few posts naming people who have helped change my life.
Solomon-I discovered his blog via Golfwidow, and it gave me reason to hope about many things. Here is a place that is about being grateful for the big and little things in life. What you've manifested for the day, what you perhaps have done that was a kindness to another. He makes me stop and think about how I'm going about life, what karma is about, and how easy it is to hold dear the words of someone you've never met.
Peter-My guy. Another that gives me the ability to look beyond the pain of what is, and see the future. Who reminds me without words we can all find happiness, if we stop crying over spilt milk, and accept with love those who love us, warts and all.
The Weather Guy-No, I'm not mad with being ill. He gave me great joy of a place to be safe and content and then, the enormous pain of betrayal of friendship, regardless of the rest of our relationship. I learned quite a bit from him in many ways; how we view things from different sides. I'm at peace, and, my time in my life with him made me see love (in whatever form) is funny on what it makes people choose to do, isn't it? (he remains anonymous, and I won't share his blog linkage)
CF-My friend who moved to NYC from Utah, taking me with her. She's held in there, struggling at times, never losing sight of her goal in life. We don't always agree, but, I admire her tenacity.
Miss Sof-There aren't enough words for Miss Sof. Let it be understood my life would be so barren without her friendship, everything would be beige.
Golfwidow-Who showed all of us, you can recreate your life, hold on to a sense of humour and dignity, and make a new existence in a new place, with nothing. She is one of my hero's.
Thom-He calls, he writes, he shares his life, and takes on bits of mine. Another who took on a whole new existence, and is making a name for himself in his new place. One day, I'll actually mail his scarf.
Tim-Our phone calls make me laugh so hard, I can't be in public, because I start to cough and wheeze. He's had a tough year, yet still holds strong to what he wants in life. Another example for me to follow.
Robert-Who knew a guy who wanted to put forth a place for flash fiction would be so bloody successful? He wades through the morass that is creating his site, tweeking here, moving that there.... and he does it along with encouraging those of us who thought we were far from talented.
Cormac-The man can write. He is also a father and husband who works hard at those jobs, of being there for his family, for his friends... who encourages people around him, and who believes in his friends.
Oddship-He's there when I need him, and sets me straight on a number of things. When I sent a painful rant to him, then thanked him for reading, the response was, "Didn't we agree you'd stick to 15 words or less on this stuff?". It made me laugh, and reassess what was important. His work raises the bar for me to aspire to, his critiques aren't always nice. Like Cormac and Bud (below), he's a father who takes pride in that position in life.
Bud-Talent, perseverance, love of his wife (I envy both his and Cormac's missus), never with a harsh word. He makes me believe in me.
More later, this has worn me out emotionally.... and I've many more to thank.
I appreciate your patience here...