Friday, June 8, 2007

FMD's Week In New York

Belittled At Tiffany's

I had to return some earrings my employer had purchased at Tiffany', off I went on my journey to 5th... Straight leg jeans, ballet flats (Payless, thankyouverymuch), an oversized white shirt, crisply ironed with sizing, to give it that just right look... no must keep one's hair short in case of a sudden zombie uprising. I wore my perfect got-it-on-clearance wonderful watch, gold hoop earrings, and I had on vinetage RayBan Wayfarers...I was....Audrey Hepburn.ish. Granted, I've lost weight, but, I don't have that gazelle look. My neck is more cygnet than swanlike. However, I carried, 'IT'.... The Bag. That Colour, The Name.. and it Tiffany diamonds. My carriage showed I was no ordinary stroller down the avenue, no, I wasn't just walking down the avenue...... I was going to Tiffany's, and I

Upon my arrival, I swept through the doors with all the assurance in the world... I had the necessary items to be there, didn't I?

I strode towards the first counter, smiled my best smile, opened my mouth, and said;

"Hello, I ...."

She looked me up and down and said, "You must want silver.."

I ended up returning the diamonds, saying they didn't sparkle enough... but, even that wasn't fun.

Belittled at Tiffany's.


She Must Have A Great Personality

We are finishing a walk, the dogs and I... going past an eatery near the Grand. People stand outside to smoke, as if it matters with the wind blowing the smoke back into the open doors into the inside diners faces.

A blonde (I'm sorry... she was) stands outside with two men... they hang on her every word. She talks, they look hard at her mou...breasts. We go past...the two white dogs, one a pit bull and the other a ten pound terrier... she squeals, totters on her heels and grabs one man's arm as she says,

"Look! How cute!! She got them little matching outfits!!"

Yes, it's her bubbly personality that keeps them around.

The Homeless Guy

This afternoon, I rounded the corner onto Walker headed to work...and came upon two NYPD officers standing there while a paramedic worked with a homeless man who was stretched out in the sun.

He was a human desert....his skin was deeply tanned... full of hard earned wrinkles, his hair wild and curly and dried out from the sun. No shirt, even his pants looked baked on.

He was on a towel, placed on the sidewalk. The paramedic was on one knee beside him, leaning over to block the sun from the ageless face....

"Come on, guy... " he coaxed. "Come on... let's get you some food..some water. You don't want to die out here. Come on." And, he'd lift him up a bit.

The man would go limp.

"Let me die, right here, please. I'm ready."

The paramedic leaned close, "I'm not going to let that happen, sir. Now, come on, let's get you going."

It was the 'sir' that made tears come to my eyes.

The cops were moving things along, I caught the paramedics eye for a moment, and smiled... he was focused on what he was doing.

Giving life and water and food and a bit of dignity back to a man who had had none of it for what looked to be a long time.

Lemonade At The Pizza Shop

I am addicted. It's homemade. I buy the gigundo size, no ice, and come home and slam it down.

Nothing else to say.... just that.

The Stolen Red Nano

My beloved red nano... Apple sent a box, I packed the box, I had it in my bag...and someone walked past me, grabbed it and ran.

The good news; they stole a non-working nano.

The bad news; I have to pay for a new one to replace the non-working nano Apple was replacing for free.

Ah, well.

Heat and Humidity

I test it by seeing how my hair curls. Today, you could hear it curling....

George At Starbuck's

His real name isn't George. I am protecting his identity. Why? Because he slips me free drinks.

I don't buy Starbuck's. I think they are the evil empire, and I hate them. I hate them with a passion reserved for people who stop by when you are sitting down to eat supper and stand there until you invite them and things you buy that come with a manual that you eventually have to read.

I also hate the fact I didn't buy stock in Starbuck's.

My boss, however, loves Starbuck's iced latte's with no ice.

I'm a regular, I stop by at the same time, order the same drink. They start making it when I walk in. It's $4.34 with tax. Once a week, I drop a big tip.

George, once a week, says, "Here's your extra drink... you always throw me when you order that extra drink." and he winks.

I hate Starbuck's. I love free iced lattes and George.

The Trash

They picked it up.

Say no more.

My Knock-Off Bag

I work near Canal...on the train, off the train, on Broadway, in SoHo, you see them... the big black bags, the people on phones, the hustlers... "Hey, lady, you want Coach, Gucci?"


I don't carry a purse.

I do, however, carry a laptop (see dog, laptop, sending emails). My current bag broke.. I guess it's the 8,473 things I shove in the bag along with said laptop to allow me to say with a smug look that I don't carry a purse.

I refuse to pay full price for a new laptop bag, and they are ugly, and I don't want a courier bag...the reason is, I'll shove so much in it, I'll lean over to one side.

Off I go to find a bag... I want a deep red, it's a red year for me. Red phone, the lost red nano, red shoes. I spy it... the vendor spies me. We circle each other like prize fighters.

"Oh, this good bag. Uptown, you pay $200. I give it you $100."

"I live here. $20."

"You crazy! You neighbor, I see you with dogs. $75"




"Lady, go away."




He's screaming now.




"Sold." And I left with my bag made from some poor animal skin for $23.

I avoid his shop now... it's best.

My New Fan

It blows cool air around, and moves, and if you stand behind it, and talk or sing, it makes a neat sound.

That was my week. There were other things, but, they weren't very exciting. Since these were the highlights, you can tell it's going to be a long, dull, summer.

Ohhhhhhhh, yeah.


LisaBinDaCity said...

I wouldn't have put up with that crap at Tiffany's. I would have smiled sweetly and said "actually, no I'm returning some diamonds that simply aren't big enough. Now what were you saying about the silver department?"

Quin said...

lisa~i did tell her i was returning them because they didn't sparkle enough..she was all toady after that, but, the sizing was out of my shirt.

to be honest, i had to laugh out loud when she said it... remind me to tell you about my cousin and her tiffany experience

modelbehavior said...

I love the haggling. You go girl!