Friday, June 15, 2007

FMD'S Week in Review

In no order, because I write as it floats in:




MY SEATS ARE ON THE STAGE?

The two women at the Eugene O'Neil Theater, discussing their tickets for Spring Awakening...

"I don't know, Doris...look, it says Stage Seating is the $31.50 seat. Our tickets were $31.50. Go ask."

I wait patiently in queue. I'd like to take the Jarhead to see this show.

One walks up to the bored looking man in the box office...

"Where are these tickets?"

"What do you mean?

"Where are we sitting?"

"On the stage."

"On the stage?"

"Yes, on the stage."

"Up on the stage?"

"Yes."

"Where the actors are."

"Yes." He looks back to his charts and counts money.

She looks back to her friend. "Barb, we are on the stage."

"You mean with the actors on the stage, stage?" Barb asks.

"You mean with the actors on the stage, stage?"

"Yes." He personified the word bored.

"How do we do that?"

"You sit there and watch."

"Are they good seats?"

He points to the chart. "Good seats are $100. Yours are $31.50. What do you think?"

"So, we sit on the stage, with the actors. We are on the stage. We sit on the stage."

"Yes, that is why they called 'stage seats'."

"Barb, they are called stage seats because we sit on the stage."

Barb, who is three feet away, says, "Really? How strange. Will it be loud?"

"Will it be loud?"

In the background, I can see the other box office employees laughing.

"Yes, m'am, it will be. It is a musical, and, you are on the stage."

"On the stage."

"Yes."

"Huh."

She turns and walks to Barb. "Well, that's new to me. I'm never buying tickets from a scalper again."


By the by, we didn't get tickets, stage or otherwise.

MY CHILDREN'S EVIL PLAN TO DISPOSE OF ME WHEN I'M OLD.ER

Jarhead and I decided to grab one of those ride around the city buses. Since it was pouring down rain, and another guy was muscling in behind him, our ticket seller gave us a deal, $25 for both of us to ride... of course, it was inside due to the rain, however, it beat walking.

As soon as we sat down among a group of non speaking tourists...what in the hell were they doing there? They had NO idea what was going on.... it stopped raining. He and I dashed up the stairs, dried off the front seats, and settled in to enjoy the ride.

It was a perfect day, the sun peeped out, gentle breeze, and all the sights of New York below us.

As we drove around, he asked, "What happens, this thing just goes in a never ending circle?"

"I'm not sure.,, it seems like it.", I answered, as yet another duplicate bus passed us, full of happy, smiling faces.

He faced forward, his eyes lit with a glint as they slid over my way.

"I've figured out what we can do with you now. We'll find one of these buses, put you on it, and say... "Mom, enjoy the sights... we'll be back to get you in a bit. Here's your lunch." And, we'll leave."

For some reason, he found this vastly amusing.

I'm so glad one of us did.

THE CHRYSLER BUILDING

Every morning, I asked..."What do you want to do?"

"Nothing in particular."

The last afternoon, he thought of a zillion places.... museums, Statue of Liberty... the Chrysler Building.

We'd seen a glimpse of it from the tour bus, right before we departed it, right before the rain started again.

"Where did he say it was?"

"I wasn't paying attention.", I said. "I think something second."

We agreed it was 62nd and entered the backside of the Grand Central station. Yeah, I know now.

We took a train to 59th, and got out, scanning the skyline... no building that looked familiar. I finally dialed a friend, C, who knows everything there is to know about New York.

"Hey, I think we are a few blocks off, and before we walk any further.... where is the Chrysler Building?"

"You are where? Um... well, start walking BACK."

So, we started the long trek back to Grand Central... the heavens opened.... we were drenched.... stopped for gyros....talked... and reached the building as the rain ceased.

It was a good time, in every way.

Oh, and if you need to know where the Chrysler Building is... call C.





IT'S BACK


This is on our local papaya stand.

I'm not sure what is back by popular demand; the price or that the product is back to being all beef.

I'm afraid to ask.







ADVERTISING ON THE TRAIN


Did Dr. Zizmore change his name to fit his field in dermatology, did he chose his field in dermatology to fit his name or was it just serendipity?

CUNY needs to change it's name. Period. Every time I quickly glance at the sign, I have to do a double take. "Look who's teaching at CUN... " What? Who's teaching at....? Ohhh, I was worried that even liberal New York had gone too far.

来我们学校学习英语,以提高您的生活和事业! at Bob's School of English.


LAW AND ORDER

They shot for two days right outside the flat. I walked by the trailers 47 times, and never did see Chris M.

Damn.


MELATONIN

I forgot the amazing out of body dreams you have with this sleep aid. I've tripped the light fantastic, bought a phone that took dictation, relived every thing that happened to me over the prior fifteen years, and they were in colours I've never imagined.

Goodness.


HAIRCUTS

I needed one. I made an appointment at AVEDA on Spring, opting for the AVEDA school, at 1/4 the cost of a real cut. I lucked out, getting someone who had trained and worked in London, and was having to re-certify here in the USofA. For $20, I would get a high end stylist cut. woot.

I said I wanted to go shorter, as the shorter my hair is, the curlier it is. This also happens when it's longer, but, I have to worry about zombies, so, I've gone for the short look.

My stylist was great. My hair, now that I'm used to it, is.... curly.

Very curly.

Very.


THE PHOTO SHOOT

The Jarhead had his photo taken on Tuesday by an amazing photographer... her name is Maggie Saniewska, she's not only talented, she's a great woman and has become a friend.


Here is one of the photos of my lad... the one of him and I won't be posted... not enough PhotoShop to make it where I'd feel good about it.









THE PALM READER


Normally, I don't do this, because after they read your palm, they want to read your wallet. (see LA and chakra ripoff).

This woman read my palm for $5. No extra offers to dig up dirt and do a gris gris on them to help my aura clear. No leaning in to tell me I need help to get my chakra's lined up and only she can do it for $500. Nothing. A palm reading. What do you know, she actually hit everything on the nose... I mean, didn't miss a thing. Discussed what has happened to me, in close detail. Told me personal attributes of people connected to me, and they weren't general. I never change my face, and I stare at my hand, never looking up. She even told me what people looked like, personalities, financial situations and things about my children that aren't... general. The hair on my neck (what is left of it) rise up. It was....eerie. It was interesting. It was worth every cent. Now, we'll see if what is predicted happens.

Todd's back online, all is good in the world... everyone look and let me know if you see anything in Astoria or Sunnyside.


Took me all day to do this... distractions happen...


Such is life.

I may have to steal someone's blog name for my tag line...


Nothing is different, every thing's the same.






5 comments:

LisaBinDaCity said...

Sounds like a fun adventure! And that bus thing is quite creative lol.

Quin said...

lisa~as long as it's a decent lunch, what will i know?

golfwidow said...

Hell, give me the lunch, I can escape into my own head and I don't even need the bus.

I'd tell you to start sending some of this stuff to overheardinnewyork.com, but I like it better in here.

Quin said...

gw~*blush* plus, i can make sure it's published here

Verminous Countenance said...

Love the theater tickets story and the bus story :)