Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I Miss Him Already

"Mom....I'm leaving... wake up."

I kept my eyes closed... if I did, I could pretend I was still dreaming, and it was one of those stupid melatoinin dreams... where you get new phones and everything you've heard during the day seeps into your nocturnal fluttering flashes of colour and sound.

He lay down next to me....

"Mom, I've got to catch the train."

I started to cry, after I swore to him I wouldn't. He cuddled me close, the way I used to hold him.

"Mom, I'll see you in December, it's only six months... I swear, I'm coming back. I promise you."

He was sweaty from packing in a hot room with just a fan on him... I could hear his heart pounding. His big hands patted my back.

"Oh, Mom. I love you forever."

I sobbed.

"You stay here, okay? Keep your eyes closed, and stay here."

I tried... at the last minute, the last nanosecond, I jumped up and came in the room as he had the door opened to go...

"If anything happens, I will be so far up George Bush's ass, when he brushes his teeth, he'll be combing my hair."

His laugh boomed out.

"Yeah, I know... that's why I know I'm coming back. I don't want you on every front page in the country."

I stood at the window and waited for the door buzzer.... I could hear him talking to someone, it was the super...

"Hey, man, you headed over?"

"Yeah... Marines.."

"Buddy, you be careful, you hear? Thanks for what you guys are doing."

"JARHEAD!!! I love you forever."

He turned around. "Like you for always"

We did the rest of it.

And he walked out the gate, strong... proud...


My countdown begins.

13 comments:

Oob said...

My heart hurts now. Huge hug to you and to Jarhead.

golfwidow said...

I hate him going and it's not even me he's leaving.

Quin said...

oob and gw~ i sat behind my red sunglasses, and cried all the way to work. funny how sunglasses are...people pretend you don't exist, and you can do the same.

thanks... it's such a silly simple word, and it means so much more.

Loobell said...

He will be fine.. He is your boy.. Any problems you hold George and I will put on my big boots and kick.
My heart is with you

Quin said...

loo~i know. i know.

Natsthename said...

Came on over from Lisa B's. Goodness, what a post to read first.

I'm married to a 25-year AF veteran, so I know the feeling of the goodbyes, but not to the degree you're feeling it.

It's hard; so very hard. One. Day. At. A. Time. Stay strong for him.

Deborah said...

He will be back, as he always keeps his word. In the meantime, continue telling these stories. He would want that. And write a play. Then when he returns in Dec. you two can read it together, acting out all the parts.

LisaBinDaCity said...

Awwww, it's going to be fine, Hon. Cause it has to be!

Call me Pollyanna ;-)

Quin said...

nat~i told him, this time 25 years ago i was miserable with him, too...waiting for december. one.day.at.a.time.

deb~be bold, open the profile, ya goose.

polly~let's get them all back.


yeah.

all of them.

i hear george is out of a job soon...maybe he need a job as a truck driver someplace hot.

with sand.

and bombs.

and shit.

yeah.

The Cajun Boy said...

awww...i almost cried reading that.

Quin said...

caj~you big lug

The Bee said...

Oooooh. That one made my heart hurt.

Verminous Countenance said...

Much love to you hon, all you have to do is be as strong as he is.