Yes, I'll Miss it Here

I've four more days in the Land of Utes.

At first, I was only going to be here two weeks, three at the most. Wedding, some personal stuff to be dealt with, and then return home to New York. I was to have blood work done, the only thing that could put a big halt on my plans....if tests came back dirty, well, I'd be doing a long treatment and not going back until November.

I got lucky....the blood work was great...other things got in the way, and my few weeks stretched into two months.

I've joked around about my little town here, the 14 stoplights, my daily trek to get coffee, the barn I lived in for six weeks, and the last 10 days of my stay here at the Neebes house.

Yes, the Land of Utes is constricting. Last night, when we discussed getting something for dinner, it became a joke... which of the five places in town could we call in and order from? We know all of the menus by heart. I was pushing for the bowling alley, because in all of my years here, I've never had one of their award winning burgers.... I was outvoted, and Chili's won out. Let's be honest, that chocolate dessert thing with sauce, caramel and ice cream is, well, yum. We recently got a Chili's here in town, so, that menu remains fairly virginal to our palettes.

Tomorrow, I'll finish out the last of the things in my little house.... picking up a few things that remained there... including the cradle all of my children slept in. With that chore done, I won't see it again. When it sells, all of the paperwork will be done by fax. I won't hear the antique gate ever squeak again. My front yard is surrounded by an iron fence, and the gate squeaks, we could never fix it.... I'd be asleep, but, not in that full deep sleep, until I heard the gate...and I knew my babies were home.

I tape up the six or so boxes that will be UPS shipped to the new place on Staten Island, boxes holding photos, some bits and pieces that mean home to me, and a few books. I'll put those in the hands of those guys in the brown shorts, and close up the storage until I'm in the apartment I'll call home.

Norma hit eBay, we have our last drives together this week. With my luck, I'm parking her before I leave, so I don't cause any damage. She'll be clean and pretty and with luck, sell quickly.

I spend Tuesday with Mrs. S... we are canning apples. Applesauce, applebutter, sliced apples, diced apples, you name it apples. We'll use the new apple peeler for the first time, which should cut down on our process time. I'm looking forward to this.... it's a ritual I will miss. Plus, it gives me my first items for my new cupboards in New York.

Wednesday is running around day...picking up permits to take dad's ashes on the plane, getting prescriptions filled, changing addresses, making a round of good-byes. When I left in January, I still had a home here, a car.... it wasn't...real. This time, there is no coming back. Nothing to come back to... just a shed of things to be shipped to me when I'm ready.

I leave behind a number of years in a place I didn't think I'd ever live, much less learn to love.

My father spent his remaining years here, as he wished to do... not in the condition he wanted to be in, but, he died here. Because he pushed for us to be in an area he loved, I met some wonderful people..... because of those wonderful people, I became involved in theater, a place I was born to be....

As an aside, CL is directing A Streetcar Named Desire. I gasped when she told me... she heard the longing in my voice when I said, "So, have you cast?"

A pause... and her chuckle. "Oh, you have the talent.. I'm just not sure the world would ever recover from you playing Blanche."

heh.

Because of theater, my life changed professionally, and personally. I will never be the person I was before I moved here, even before two years ago.

This little town gave me many, many things.

Comfort, friends, family of my heart.... and where I gave away part of my soul.

I'll miss the Church of Cinema Eight, the 14 stoplights, the crap coffee, my theater company, everyone I know here... the fact I know so many people.

I'll be back for my family of the heart, for my HRH and her new family... but, it won't be the same.

Still, it's a place where I can always find those skies that stretch out between our far stretched mountain ranges, the millions of stars... my MoMo's....and Orion so crisp and clean.