I can say now I fully plan on cheating, and ending it with something I saw on cajunboy's site, that moved me when I first saw it aired, and moved me again today.... I'm not always original.
What are they thinking?
I loves me my tourists. What else would we talk about? Who would support our City, causing us to otherwise have to pay ridiculous amounts for food in a port city? For clothing in a place that is run by an underground sweatshop system? To be bled dry for rent for a place that would normally be called a closet? Oh, right...we do those things anyway....but, without our tourists, it would be even worse.. so, respect the tourists.
Still, I watch them, and what comes to my mind is, "What are they thinking?". In particular, I love the French tourists. They hate us to begin with, and I often feel they come to visit just so they can go back and sneer about how we are. "Oh, I was in New York, and I was able to buy French food, and it was shit." "They don't let you smoke inside!" "You should see it, no places to go to the toilet on the street!"
Today, as we did a quick walk before the heat and humidity set in, a French couple walked past us pushing a baby carriage. How did I know they were French? They were both smoking, blowing it down on the baby to get him used to the nicotine, and they sneered at me. I heard the word "Merde", so, I was pretty sure they were French. The smoking thing amazes me there, so casual..even the kids smoke, it seems. In the hotels in France, they leave a chocolate and a Galois on your pillow when they turn down the bed at night.
One of my favourite things about New York is delivery. I've stated this a number of times, and will continue to extol the virtues of having things delivered, not to mention the exciting varieties of food here. In the land of Utes, it was front page news when IHOP opened. This is a state where a staple food is called 'funeral potatoes', and yes, Utah leads the world in Jell-O consumption.
Yesterday, I decided I deserved a meal, and waded through the 4,762 menus in the menu drawer.
None of them were standard.... and not even this woman, raised in the City of the Big Easy, where we suck crawfish heads and put blue crab fat on a cracker and eat it...could get excited over some of the options offered.
- Chicken feet with chinese mushroom casserole..umm, no
- Pork belly and liver, steamed with rice....ummm, no
- Marinated frogs.....no
- Fishhead soup....yum!
- Chicken and chinese fungus...I really don't want to think about it.
I settled on tangerine chicken and a few other things... leftovers are good.
Dialing the number, I settle in to give my order... forgetting no one speaks English and that it's a holiday.
On a holiday, if I owned an eating establishment in New York, I'd put ON extra delivery staff... not let them take a vacation. And, why not hire a person who speaks English if you have an establishment that DELIVERS??? The first three places weren't delivering to my area. Finally, I found a place that would...
"What you want order?"
"Hi, yes, I'd like to place a delivery order... I live at blah blah."
"Yes, we deliver, where you live?"
"At blah blah, Apt blah...buzzer "
"What apartment number?"
"Blah" Maybe if I'd stopped saying blah, and given a real number, it would have sped up the process.
"Anyway, the buzzer is..."
"What you buzzer number?"
"Blah...I'd like a #12D, please, with fried rice and a #2"
"What you want?"
"Um, #12D with fried rice and a #2"
"You want white or fried rice?"
"So, you want #12B.."
"No, D...D like DOG"
"B like bog?"
Bog?? Who uses bog to give alpha codes??
"D like David..." I'm cut off while she yells out the order and my address.
"So sorry, we not delivering there."
That's it....I'm tired of accents and bad delivery options. Damn them all.
I pull out the local menu for bar-b-que. I'm going to have a hamburger, with cheese AND fries, and that is that.
I dial the number.... and a Chinese accent says, "What you want order?"
I gave up, and had cereal and milk for supper. It's not bad if you don't mind the expiration date on the cereal is a little old.
I can sublet this place for up to another four months.
I don't want to... so, if any of you know of a place, email me, please.
I loved this when it came out, loved it again seeing it today. This is about the dreamers, the ones that took a chance... the crazy ones... everyone, every day... take your chance. Believe.
The Crazy Ones
Thanks for reading.